I, as a Gmail user, have a little "Feed Bar" up top, which features links to sites I chose to see at some long-forgotten point during the Gmail account creation process. There's a weblog on there that frequently gets linked, that I'm not going to namedrop because I would rather not this weblog come up if you search for that weblog on Google.
I like to click the links to this weblog when they come up and look at the crazy foods the author likes to make. These foods are always insane, like "Cheeseburgers Made out of Quinoa and Sand" or "Vanilla-Spiced Tofu Noodles with Chard."
It's always tofu. Or sand.
But my favorite part of this weblog is the comments. I like to read what people say and imagine what they really mean. For instance, "This is brilliant! I'm totally going to make this today!" means "I never actually cook, but I sure love postin' comments on weblogs!!"
Of course, "This looks excellent." or any variant of that general idea actually means "Postcount++ - and I wouldn't actually feed this to an animal unless I hated the animal personally" in the worst case, and "Postcount++ - this is a very good photograph of a dish I would never, ever cook or eat" in the best case.
My personal favorite is, "Great recipe, but I was thinking - what if you replaced the fennel with a diffusion of rennet and head cheese??" - which means "Not only am I not going to cook this, but if I actually did intend to cook it, you're doing it wrong."
I have to suppose that, by and large, if you've got a weblog about food on the internet, and you open it up for comments in the hope that people will provide intelligent feedback on your recipes, or trip reports, or really anything remotely meaningful, that's what's called "wishful thinking."
Speaking of wishful thinking, this weblog is currently open to all comments, but comments are moderated. The fact is, the V1AG__r4 spammers don't even know I'm here, so thinking not only that I will get comments, but that I will get so many that I will have to throw some of them out, is doubly wishful thinking.
If I get a chance, though, I'll post my recipe "Peanut and Radish Gelato with Horseradish Paste." It's perfect for a hot summer day when you're looking for something savory, yet icy; salty, yet fundamentally repugnant. As an added bonus, if you are facing execution and you ask for it as your last meal, you will be killed early.
In other news, I was thinking about something two or three days ago. Stephen King comes to mind for certain, but a few other authors have stated something to this effect: "I write because if I didn't write, I feel like I'd end up with brain problems. Writing is a safety valve for my insanity." Well, it may not be original, but I'm saying it about myself anyway.
