::what the hell happened here?
HAMMER: I was daydreaming today.
ANVIL: That's when all the trouble starts. Remember last time, Hammer? Hell, I'm still shocked the CIA bailed us out of jail. I guess they only wanted us for those goddamn unethical tests, though.
H: Yeah. Sometimes, the transmitter that they installed in my head... I can see its light blinking behind my left eyeball, if I look in the mirror in the dark.
A: All the same, Hammer, you brought it on yourself. It's really best for you to avoid having ideas at all costs.
H: I agree. If I ever get any ideas, from now on I'm going to give them back.
A: Good man. Remember: If a light bulb goes on over your head, sell it immediately. Buy yourself a candy bar or something.
What were you daydreaming about, exactly?
H: I was imagining a twisted plot of mine many years in the making coming to fruition, Anvil. You see, certain trusted parties have been sent letters accompanied by instructions to only open these letters when a specific codeword comes by anonymous post. When I begin the chain, at a moment of my sole choosing, it will all start when I send the first letter to the first recipient, containing the first codeword. The recipient will open his letter, and the letter will contain instructions: Send a single card, on which is written a specific word, to the address given.
Anvil leans forward with some interest.
H: You see how it shall go, Anvil. Each recipient shall, in turn, receive instructions to 'trigger' the next recipient in the chain. And on and on. In the end, the final envelope shall be opened, by my extremely large, but extremely dimwitted second cousin. It will contain $100 and a set of instructions to accomplish in exchange for this payment. He lives in this town, as a matter of fact, and I will never disclose his identity to you. Just know, that if a six-foot-four oaf wearing a bad toupee walks up to you out of nowhere and kicks you in the shin, that there is a reason, Anvil.
A: Does he already have the letter?
H: Perhaps he does, Anvil. Perhaps he does not; I fail to see how it is relevant.
A: It's quite relevant, Hammer. You see, I will just carry around $200 at all times. I shall put a special compartment in my shoe for this purpose. This $200 will be used to outbid the offer you have made to your dimwitted second cousin. Surely he would rather take $300 to walk away than kick me and lose the $200 I offer. He is surely not that dimwitted.
H: Well, in that case, I shall simply place $300 in my letter and pre-emptively outbid you. Your flaw, Anvil... if I may speak a bit critically of you, dear Anvil... your flaw is your overconfidence. You thoughtlessly told me how you would outmaneuver me, which enables me to out-outmaneuver you.
A: By all means, Hammer, send off the letter. Enclose $300. But know that I will simply choose to carry around $400.
H: I believe the solution to this inevitable infinite regress is simply to send a completely undisclosed amount to Cletus. You will have a hard time outbidding a number you are not privy to.
A: You will have a hard time making a bid at all, Hammer, if I've stolen your wallet.
Anvil hands over Hammer's wallet. Hammer gapes slightly and puts it in his pocket.
